done AND dusted

finito all my assignments for this 2nd semester of this year. WOOOT.

now only half a semester to gooooooo WOOT. ~_~;;

so i guess ive done and dusted this year huh....

guess its time to pack up all my shit and box it away preparing for the start of a new year...

paralax of sadness and happiness i guess.

hmmmmm....

people

people.

generally all the same

molecular structure.

bones. muscles. blood. etc.

and yet why is it.

that everyone is so different.?

i mean the world is full of people. who are

full of shit.

full of passion.

full of faith.

or just full of shit.

these people who are so full of shit.

everytime i fucking see you.

or hear about you.

it begins to piss me off.

gradually.

this emotion builds up.

and then turns into resentment.

which is then again replaced by anger.

and then later on hatred.

this cycle of bullshit.

how do we as people escape all the bullshit that is present within

our lives.

i have no idea.

but if i have to see. or hear. more

of your fucking bull shit.

i might fucking explode.

so dont fuck

with me

dreams

for the past few days ive been having dreams that are about the same topic.

and yet today those dreams changed.

i went into uni to hand in my assignment came back and took a two hour power nap.

but during that power nap i had a dream.

i was down in hamiltom with my mum and dad and there was this mega store

where everything was really good

clothes, electronics food what ever.

best quality items and everything was free.

and then while we are checking out our items the cashier suddenly says.

oh that will be so and so dollars.

and my mum and dad are confused.

so they say what?

and then the cashier starts being very negative towards me and my parents.

swearing and such.

so i hold him by his collar.

and thats when the dream suddenly gets weird.

most of the workers there suddenly get very violent and my family and i had to fight our way out.

and luckily in the dream my family got out safe.

but somehow i ended up back into that warehouse.

the police were there and yet not there at the same time.

as soon as i walked in a huge wailing roaring sound occured.

and those workers had knives now instead of wooden poles and bats.

and started trying to kill me.

so i killed them and chopped off limbs and such.

i wonder what this means.

loop

im waiting for a train

a train that will take me far away

i hope i know where this train will take me

but i cannot know for sure

yet it doesnt matter.....






or does it.



everybody knows and yet does not know what life holds for oneself.

and yet all individuals trudge along the path that we call life.

hoping for a better day.

hoping for that one day....



as the once younger insomniac gom stated... many years ago..


as i live life..

as i walk on paths both

visible and invisible

in life.

i ponder.

do i live life for its length

or its width...



i think sometimes.. my younger self would be both proud and disappointed in the decisions that i have made till this point.

i think that the younger me was also both wiser and yet more immature then i am now.

i wonder what that says about me as a person.

think about it.

change.

time flows.

the present changes into the past.

the future changes into the present.

seasons change.

taste buds change.

people change.

all these things change over time.

its not everything around me changing as i remain significantly unchanged.

i change with the seasons.

for the better or for the worse? only time will tell.

the things in my life change.

jobs for example.

the way i look.

the way i talk.

the things i eat.

the hobbies that i enjoy.

my preferences for things.

my friends.

my girl friends.

but all these things are based on my perspective on life.

what is my perspective on life.

living a life for me?

living a life of joy?

of monetary gain?

of what exactly.

what the fuck are the key beliefs that i hold dear.

i wonder.

the people or things that i rely on throughout the passage of time

will no doubt be hindered or fail me outright at some point.

why? change.

the decisions that everybody makes changes the outcomes of events, changes the flow in which you travel throughout your life.

so what do i base my life on?

living a good life i guess.

living a life filled with good decisions, that will benefit me first, and then i guess those around me.

or is it. making decisions in life that will sometimes benefit others instead of me.

why do we live? who do we live for?

i guess those are some of the heavy questions people sift through in life.

and i guess those are some of the big questions floating around in my head.

but i guess life would be easier for everyone.

if they could surround themselves with joy.

happiness.

bliss.

but also staying grounded in reality.

because these things are luxuries in real life.

you have to absorb them, bask in them while you can.

cus this worlds a shit can.

full of more negatives then positives.

so in order to make passage in time easier.

i guess we should fill our lives

with positives.

as much as possible. so we can at least fucking get a tan while basking.

no?